Philosophical debates about languages

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Н.Ф.
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Re: Philosophical debates about languages

Сообщение Н.Ф. »

Брэйв писал(а):The book was translated in English? I didn’t know, it’s great! Where can we download it?
http://linguistlist.org/issues/25/25-1610.html
http://oddline.blogspot.ru/
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Re: Philosophical debates about languages

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Н.Ф. писал(а):
Брэйв писал(а):The book was translated in English? I didn’t know, it’s great! Where can we download it?
http://linguistlist.org/issues/25/25-1610.html
http://oddline.blogspot.ru/
Thanks a lot for the book and for the help.
Briefly about myself: I'm brave, handsome, clever, yeah, and almost forgot to mention ... humble!
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Re: Philosophical debates about languages

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Парфений писал(а):Dear Nikolai,

Thank you for sending me your email address so that I could pay you for the dialogues. However, I have decided not to do the work after all.

I read your book not once but twice. I worked hard at it and I took notes. You convinced me 95% that your method would be the best way to learn a foreign language. But in the end I just can't make the commitment because I will never actually use Russian in any way: I will never come to Russia; I am too old to get a job. So the effort of learning Russian your way would be too demanding and too maddening without any motivation!

I am fascinated by your book. It's beautifully translated. It reads well. And your wonderful humour shines through. Thank you for writing it. And I wish you well.

Mark Watson
London, England
I agree, learning of a foreign language is not a picnic. But, why is he talking only about Russian? Every person has a country of which he dreams, a country where he wants to be at least once.
Briefly about myself: I'm brave, handsome, clever, yeah, and almost forgot to mention ... humble!
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Re: Philosophical debates about languages

Сообщение Н.Ф. »

Парфений писал(а):Dear Nikolai,

Thank you for sending me your email address so that I could pay you for the dialogues. However, I have decided not to do the work after all.

I read your book not once but twice. I worked hard at it and I took notes. You convinced me 95% that your method would be the best way to learn a foreign language. But in the end I just can't make the commitment because I will never actually use Russian in any way: I will never come to Russia; I am too old to get a job. So the effort of learning Russian your way would be too demanding and too maddening without any motivation!

I am fascinated by your book. It's beautifully translated. It reads well. And your wonderful humour shines through. Thank you for writing it. And I wish you well.

Mark Watson
London, England
Избранные места из переписки с друзьями, так сказать.

Мистер Ватсон:

We've just been to see 'Ida', a Polish film. I strongly recommend it to you. Beautifully acted and shot. Touching story.

Tell me, I thought Polish was Slavonic, related to Russian, but there seems to be little resemblance. Only a few words now and again, like дом. 'Thank you' seems to be Shookooriya, which is Pakistani!! What's going on?

Я:

Polish, you ax me? OK, let me explain you something about Polish:

How to speak a perfect Polish in one easy lesson, or Your effortless Polish

Imagine that you’re returning home after some dental work, two root canals, a few new crowns, a new bridge, well, you know, the works. It’s freezing outside, it’s, like, 20 below, because for some mysterious reason you live in Siberia now. You’re frozen solid, especially your face and lips, and you decide to pop into your favorite bar ‘Stalin’s Balalaika’.

Ivan the barman stops picking his behind, puts aside his stone axe and gives you your personal sardine tin. They use empty sardine tins to drink vodka out of instead of those puny English shot glasses and you like it this way. Yeah. You say ‘Comlade, gimme zee whore bouttle, boy, am I toisty todayshki!’ Ivan crushes a couple of lice under his polar bear skin shapka, gives you the full bottle and turns away. He’s in a good mood today. He’s even whistling his favorite tune ‘Putin, Putin uber alles, kaputt und shmulles!’ You like it, too. You like it even more than the current EU National Anthem ‘Oy vey bla-bla-bla, blow your nose inshallah’ and that’s saying something.

And then you just sit there. You sit and meditate. You meditate on the Ivan’s bugars the dirty counter is covered with, you meditate on the fat cockroaches busily scurrying around your vodka tin, you meditate on the scum of Siberia the bar is full of and who are your best friends now, you meditate on your entire life which is finally and unquestionably a success.

The boring, empty, wasted London days, all that pampered, sheltered bourgeois life, all that disgusting consuming, all that non-stop mindless devouring of foie gras, all those despicably fat oysters flapping their fins and jumping up and down in the revolting seas of Dom Perignon day and night trying to escape your hungry, predatory lips, all that English misery is long forgotten. The Revolution came, cleansed everything and your life is fulfilled now.

‘Hey, you swine!’ you hear all of a sudden. ‘The bottle is empty! You finished the whole bottle! Pay up! It’s not your crappy London here! Here you pay up or else!’ Ivan doesn’t look all that happy any more. His ugly, unshaven face is crimson and furious now. ‘You, capitalist pig, give me the money or you’ll get your usual! You catch my drift?’ You put your hand in your pocket. Just in case. You know perfectly well that there’s only one last rouble in there. Your payday at the factory ‘Glorious Proletarian Calluses’ where you work as an outhouse cleaner is days away. ‘Tomorrow?’ you ask without much hope. Ivan smiles sweetly and says ‘OK. The usual then.’ You understand. It's only fair. Ivan is being fair. As always.

His first blow lands on your upper lip. His second – on your lower lip. You wait for a continuation but none follows. Yes, Ivan definitely is in a good mood today. You can’t really move your lips but you manage to say to Ivan ‘Shank ye, Ifan, shank ye sho fery mushch fur shtraightenin’ me ouch, shank ye fery, fery mushch!’ Congratulations, Mark! You just spoke Polish with a perfect, a most beautiful Polish accent…
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Re: Philosophical debates about languages

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Why didn't you show this letter earlier? I'm sure, you have the same recipe for those who're learning English. I killed a bunch of time to make my American pronunciation well, using your method :D
Briefly about myself: I'm brave, handsome, clever, yeah, and almost forgot to mention ... humble!
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Re: Philosophical debates about languages

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Brave, you can easily speak Australian using this new method. Just take three-five sardine tins of vodka and reeally try to speak British.

By the way, last time I spoke to an Australian guy I thought he was an Arab. After three-four minutes after the beginning of conversation he said 'I don't mean to be rude, but may I ask what's your nationality?' I said 'I'm Russian. What's yours?' He told me that he's Australian and I was like 'Wow!'. He said 'Yeah, I've got that a lot.'

- Look who's talking, Blue Face! You know what your little horns remind me of?
- These are not horns! Come on, you don’t tell a guy he has horns. These are antennae.
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Re: Philosophical debates about languages

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Еще один Сергей писал(а):Brave, you can easily speak Australian using this new method. Just take three-five sardine tins of vodka and reeally try to speak British.
No, I think vodka is not right solution in that case. I have to take some pills.
Briefly about myself: I'm brave, handsome, clever, yeah, and almost forgot to mention ... humble!
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Re: Philosophical debates about languages

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I wonder why people have difficulties with finding who to practice their English with? I don't know where to hide from that practice. Well, to be honest I knew where this is going because of 'Where are you from?' question. These people never check your info before talking to you.

[9:58:50] crush jewel: hi
[9:58:55] Sergie Ivanov: Hi! Do we know each other?
[9:59:25] crush jewel: I love chatting with people.. Would you like to chat today? Where are you from?
[9:59:44] Sergie Ivanov: Russia.
[10:00:14] crush jewel: Ok my real name is Amanda, i'm from California, Can i ask you a personal question?
[10:00:29] Sergie Ivanov: Depends... You can try.
[10:00:59] crush jewel: Do u like big booty woman with big boobs? lol seriously cuz thats what i have. Is that too much for you 2 take care of?
[10:01:45] Sergie Ivanov: Why whould I even try 'to take care of'?
[10:02:17] crush jewel: O.k this is really turning me on, i wanna show you what i am wearing right now.. is that ok?
[10:02:17] Sergie Ivanov: Don't take this the wrong way, but are you selling something?
[10:02:49] crush jewel: :) (heart) u make me want to grab myself :) (heart) i want you 2 hold on really hard ;) i am going to setup my cam for you.
[10:03:26] Sergie Ivanov: No need. I'm engaged and my gf wouldn't like that.
[10:03:52] crush jewel: http://somewherefarfarawayinanothergalaxy , i have my cam setup on that site cum watch me!
[10:04:04] Sergie Ivanov: Ok, thanks.
[10:05:40] crush jewel: Don't worry baby the site i'm on is FREE to join all you have 2 do is sign up they support cellphones too :)
[10:05:48] Sergie Ivanov: Ok, no problem. I'll sign up and do whatever they want me to do and pay as much as they want me to pay.
[10:06:19] crush jewel: Type in your cc info for Age verification ONLY, your credit card will not be charged. ok im ready 4 you now
[10:06:30] Sergie Ivanov: Now bye-bye, sweety. We had enough fun for a day.

- Look who's talking, Blue Face! You know what your little horns remind me of?
- These are not horns! Come on, you don’t tell a guy he has horns. These are antennae.
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Re: Philosophical debates about languages

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We accept all major credit cards. Love you!
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Re: Philosophical debates about languages

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I remember another option of these sweet hearts.
You pay for a long distance call only.
:)
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Re: Philosophical debates about languages

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Why didn't you ask her about the weather? I always do that.
I'm sure the answer would be like this:
What's the weather over there, baby?
Oh, it’s raining. My t-shirt is wet, and you can see my nipples…
Briefly about myself: I'm brave, handsome, clever, yeah, and almost forgot to mention ... humble!
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Re: Philosophical debates about languages

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Брэйв писал(а):Why didn't you ask her about the weather?
Well, when she said 'Hi' I thought it's someone I know forgot his password and writing from a new account. Then I thought there's always a chance it's just a drunk college girl. You know, somebody at college called her fat or something and now she's looking for somebody to tell her she's not fat but pretty. I kinda understand kids like that and don't want to be rude to them. Not guilty unless sent me a link or tried to make an unauthorized video call. I mean it's easy to assume that a person's just a whore, but there's always a small chance that you're wrong and you're gonna hurt someone. Well, maybe I'm just silly.

- Look who's talking, Blue Face! You know what your little horns remind me of?
- These are not horns! Come on, you don’t tell a guy he has horns. These are antennae.
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Re: Philosophical debates about languages

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Sometimes people on the forum ask if the method could help them to pass exams or tests. Today I've tried to do a school homework for one boy and...

There was a text where three children were telling us about their favorite holidays. After the text there was a table with three columns. The left column was like: The father, The mother, Stuart, Daniel and so on. The middle one was like this: light fireworks, colour eggs, send greetings cards. And the last one was like this: at Christmas, on Christmas Day, on Christmas Eve, at Thanksgiving, on Thanksgiving and so on.

No, the method itself doesn't teach you how to do this kind of crap. I never knew how to do these things and I still don't. Matrix didn't help me and I can't even understand what the authors of these tasks expect me to do. Here's my... well, let's call it 'work'. There's no way a kid can show something like that to his teacher.

Stuart lights fireworks on the 4th of July.

Stuart raises a flag on the 4th of July.

Daniel lights fireworks on the 4th of July.

Melanie doesn't do anything because she's stupid. Well, maybe she eats cakes. Or maybe she's allergic to them, who knows?

The father doesn't do anything either, because according to the text he decorates the house and a chrismtas tree, but threre's nothing like that in the second column. Well, maybe 'decorating garden trees with electric lights' counts? Or maybe he chooses and buys gifts? Whoever chooses them the father is definitely the one who pays for that. Actually, he makes hot dogs and hamburgers on the 4th of July, but we don't have that option in the middle column.

Nobody hangs stockings on the beds on Christmas Eve, because there are no Jay and Clare on the left. (It's been pointed out to me that there's 'the children' there. My bad.)

Nobody sends greetings cards and watches parades or wears fancy dresses, because there's nothing of that sort in the text. Oh, and nobody wraps presents either.

The mother and Paul colour eggs at Easter.

The mother cooks traditional dishes at Easter.

The family have parties on the 4th of July.

Nobody gives a shit about Thanksgiving from the right column, because Wellers' kids never mentioned that holiday.

The mother makes pudding at Christmas. Well, maybe she makes it on Christmas Eve, maybe on Christmas Day. How are we supposed to know that if nobody told us? Her puddings are very tasty, by the way. No, capitalizing every letter of the word 'very' does not make them more tasty.

- Look who's talking, Blue Face! You know what your little horns remind me of?
- These are not horns! Come on, you don’t tell a guy he has horns. These are antennae.
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Re: Philosophical debates about languages

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Sometimes these lessons can be funny, cannot they? (I did it! I used this construction! :) )
I think a logic is not a main goal of these ... things.
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Re: Philosophical debates about languages

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А.М. писал(а):Sometimes these lessons can be funny, cannot they? (I did it! I used this construction! :) )
Haha! You did, didn't you?

- Look who's talking, Blue Face! You know what your little horns remind me of?
- These are not horns! Come on, you don’t tell a guy he has horns. These are antennae.
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